My life has hit a very stressful wall. I'm just sick with worry about my son and his family. Don't want to go into all the details at this time, but the last thing on my mind is eating correctly. The second thing on my mind after my son and his family is eating everything that doesn't get away from me.
Lord, I wish I were wired differently. I hate these cold, rainy days that make me want to eat comfort food in the first place. This on top of one of those days and I can't wait to eat -- Lots of things. Chocolate, salty things, you name it.
I think I'll have to go buy larger jeans.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Today, so far
I'm doing good so far today. I've had oatmeal with a banana for breakfast, which is one of my favorites. And some tomato juice. I slept rather late after a bad night of sleep. This is just to let you know that I'm still plugging along. Hope your day is going well.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Update very early Tuesday
I am not doing all of this the way I had planned to. Let's just say, it's not going well. Why is it that something you know you need to do, that you even want to accomplish, is so hard to do? I know it would help tremendously if I could exercise in some way, even if it's just walking for a bit each day. But my knee is giving me hell -- still. (I'm so looking forward to getting medical insurance again on March 1st, so that I can go talk to the doctor about this particular problem.) I did the wash today, wearing my new mud boots, and it killed me every time I had to bend my knee to get my foot in the boot. By the end of the day, tears were forming in my eyes each time I did it. I did not finish washing all the clothes. It's supposed to be raining cats and dogs again by Wednesday night, so there is more washing and mud boots in my future for later today.
I'll do my best to give you a better update next time.
I'll do my best to give you a better update next time.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Today
Today has not gone as planned. I hope that tomorrow, I will get off of my butt and head into Dallas to Central Market for great fruit and bison to get through the weekend. I can't eat beef, I'm allergic, and I've found that bison is really wonderful. There is also a type of noodle that I'm looking for. I've found several recipes that I want to try that are on the Pioneer Woman blog. If I add a salad and eat small portions, I should do just fine. Fruit for dessert, of course. On to smaller jeans and better things!
From this Minute, it will be Better
At a certain point yesterday, I realized I'd have to confess to my blog. I think in the long run, this will be a good thing because hopefully I'll do less things that will need confessing. Today, it sucks.
I had lots of errands to do yesterday. I went to get the new tag for my car and then headed to Wal-mart. I'm sorry, but I hate that place and going there puts me in a bad mood. The alternative, most of the time, is to drive to Dallas (70+ miles away) to get things that aren't in the local Brookshires and that only Wal-mart has down here. That is of course, if they happen to have IT in stock, whatever IT is. So, I do my shopping at Wal-mart. They're out of many of the things on my list, so I already know I'll have to go somewhere else in a few days. I spend almost $200 and still don't feel that I got anything. The fridge is only half full. On the way home, I stopped by CVS to pick up some prescriptions and the bank to get cash.
I get home and unload and put up all the groceries. Then I walk around the bar to do something -- what I was going to do is lost forever when I see one of the couch cushions ripped to shreds on the floor and all of it's stuffing all over the living room! Yes, Katie and Barkley were apparently bored while I was gone. My first instinct is to grab the gun and have done with them, but I don't do that. I start to (not so) calmly pick up the mess that used to be my couch. I finally swept most of it up, the bending was getting to me.
I left the dogs breathing nicely and went on to complete my errands. I had to return slacks that came out of their first washing with holes, chili that was expired when purchased, get the mail and a money order. After the slacks exchange, I realized that I was starving. I never stopped for lunch. I saw my mistake instantly because I did not have the will power to drive past McDonald's in the mood I was in. I stopped for a large order of french fries and a small chocolate shake. I felt crummy about this slip up so early in my new regime, but I continued to eat, savoring every salty bite and every chocolaty sip. Knowing that if I had only had lunch, I would have done better.
I get home, do what needs to be done and collapse. By this time, my knee is killing me from all of the walking. I head upstairs to put my feet up as soon as I can. Later that evening, I sweet talk my hubby into cooking the packaged cookies we should have had over the weekend. I eat half of them and this morning finish off the remaining two. So, the other lessons are don't have crap in the house that you shouldn't eat and buy more fruit.
The rest of today will be better.
I had lots of errands to do yesterday. I went to get the new tag for my car and then headed to Wal-mart. I'm sorry, but I hate that place and going there puts me in a bad mood. The alternative, most of the time, is to drive to Dallas (70+ miles away) to get things that aren't in the local Brookshires and that only Wal-mart has down here. That is of course, if they happen to have IT in stock, whatever IT is. So, I do my shopping at Wal-mart. They're out of many of the things on my list, so I already know I'll have to go somewhere else in a few days. I spend almost $200 and still don't feel that I got anything. The fridge is only half full. On the way home, I stopped by CVS to pick up some prescriptions and the bank to get cash.
I get home and unload and put up all the groceries. Then I walk around the bar to do something -- what I was going to do is lost forever when I see one of the couch cushions ripped to shreds on the floor and all of it's stuffing all over the living room! Yes, Katie and Barkley were apparently bored while I was gone. My first instinct is to grab the gun and have done with them, but I don't do that. I start to (not so) calmly pick up the mess that used to be my couch. I finally swept most of it up, the bending was getting to me.
I left the dogs breathing nicely and went on to complete my errands. I had to return slacks that came out of their first washing with holes, chili that was expired when purchased, get the mail and a money order. After the slacks exchange, I realized that I was starving. I never stopped for lunch. I saw my mistake instantly because I did not have the will power to drive past McDonald's in the mood I was in. I stopped for a large order of french fries and a small chocolate shake. I felt crummy about this slip up so early in my new regime, but I continued to eat, savoring every salty bite and every chocolaty sip. Knowing that if I had only had lunch, I would have done better.
I get home, do what needs to be done and collapse. By this time, my knee is killing me from all of the walking. I head upstairs to put my feet up as soon as I can. Later that evening, I sweet talk my hubby into cooking the packaged cookies we should have had over the weekend. I eat half of them and this morning finish off the remaining two. So, the other lessons are don't have crap in the house that you shouldn't eat and buy more fruit.
The rest of today will be better.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Caffeine and Sugar Withdrawal
Caffeine and sugar withdrawal are the absolute worst things to go through. So much tougher than food cravings (I'm sure I'll change my tune about this once they hit full force). Or course, it seems like all of my cravings always involve sugar and caffeine! And salt, can't forget salt. Or chocolate. Lord, don't let me forget chocolate! --- but I digress, forgive me. I've done this before you know. I've cut out caffeine in the past. I've cut the hfcs for allergy testing. WHY did I start back on each of them? At the time, I must of thought I could handle just a little bit, once in a while. Well, you know what? A little bit ends up growing into a lot and every once in a while ends up growing into several times a day! It never fails. I get tired of the taste of water and milk and of hot herb teas. I want something --- MORE! I want something cold and yes, I'll admit it, sweet. Then I end up back where I was (drinking soft drinks), only worse (drinking more of them or going from no caffeine to decaffeinated soft drinks). If I don't kick this horrible habit of eating and drinking the wrong things, I'll be a goner. A body is just not made to survive carrying twice it's weight for more than a decade or two. Besides that, my knee is killing me and I'm tired of saying that. I'm too young to feel this damn old. That's what it boils down to. And I'd like to live long enough to see my grandchildren grow up.
I've never been able to drink diet drinks. I've always hated the taste of them. I also don't like the idea of the chemical laden whatevers they put in, instead of sugar (or in most cases hfcs). As it turns out, that's a good thing for me. Sugar substitutes can cause migraines in some people. I get them enough without adding another source, thank you very much. So, I'm chugging down my filtered water and dreaming of Dr. Pepper at the moment. Battling a withdrawal headache and crabbiness too. Life, such as it is at the moment, goes on.
I've never been able to drink diet drinks. I've always hated the taste of them. I also don't like the idea of the chemical laden whatevers they put in, instead of sugar (or in most cases hfcs). As it turns out, that's a good thing for me. Sugar substitutes can cause migraines in some people. I get them enough without adding another source, thank you very much. So, I'm chugging down my filtered water and dreaming of Dr. Pepper at the moment. Battling a withdrawal headache and crabbiness too. Life, such as it is at the moment, goes on.
And so it Begins
I've been sick for a couple of days. Still feel pretty crummy. Had to postpone the hand quilting class I was supposed to teach today. That has not stopped me from starting toward my goal though. The few things I ate and drank yesterday had no hfcs in them. And so it begins.....
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Prepared?
No, I'm not really as prepared to start this tomorrow as I would like to be. I figure I'll just jump in and get started, hopefully improving each day as I go along. I know that I'll stop drinking soft drinks tomorrow. And if it's in my house or I purchase it, I'll be reading the label for that nasty corn syrup. That stuff is tricky. At least the people who make the labels are. When I went through food allergy testing a year and a half ago, I had to call the companies of a couple of items because I couldn't tell if the what was listed on the label was high fructose corn syrup or not. I can't remember now how it was worded, but it was different enough to make you think it wasn't hfcs and it was indeed hfcs.
I will not be able to weigh in the morning. Our scale is all messed up. Somehow my dogs have reprogrammed it to tell weight in stones. We can't find the booklet that came with it and we haven't been able to figure out how to change it back. Stones do sound like less weight to me since I don't know how much a stone is though. I can tell you that the last time I went to the doctor (2 or 3 weeks ago), I weighed 260.4 pounds. That's the most I've ever weighed in my life. Even more than I weighed on the day I gave birth to my son. It was very difficult to write that number here for all of you to see. My husband does not know my weight. My best friends don't know my weight. Neither do my momma or sister. I am 5 foot 3 inches tall, so as you can see, I'm a short, very fat woman. I am obese. In fact, I believe the correct medical term would be morbidly obese. That was very difficult to write also. I don't know if I've gained weight since I last saw the doctor or not. I will just assume that I have not and assume that my weight is what is stated above. I'm sorry, I couldn't write it again.
My knee is hurt at the moment. I used to trip and step in holes and end up falling all the time. I still do, but much less often now because I'm more careful and I actually watch were I walk. I always landed on my knees when I fell and I hit the hardest on my right knee. So that, with the added weight, has caused me to have knee problems. They are not normally severe problems. They have been for the last few weeks. I don't know what I did. I went to bed one night just fine and when I got up the next morning, my right knee was in great pain. When I was at my sister's a few days ago, she let me try her TENS unit on it. If you are not familiar with a TENS unit, let me tell you that it's a little device that you use to attach electrodes to the affected area and it give you little electric pulses to stimulate the area. It can lessen pain and the need for pain medication. It helped me so much more than I would have expected. I'll be talking to my doctor about getting one the next time I'm there. I may even be able to start exercise if I have one.
I will not be able to weigh in the morning. Our scale is all messed up. Somehow my dogs have reprogrammed it to tell weight in stones. We can't find the booklet that came with it and we haven't been able to figure out how to change it back. Stones do sound like less weight to me since I don't know how much a stone is though. I can tell you that the last time I went to the doctor (2 or 3 weeks ago), I weighed 260.4 pounds. That's the most I've ever weighed in my life. Even more than I weighed on the day I gave birth to my son. It was very difficult to write that number here for all of you to see. My husband does not know my weight. My best friends don't know my weight. Neither do my momma or sister. I am 5 foot 3 inches tall, so as you can see, I'm a short, very fat woman. I am obese. In fact, I believe the correct medical term would be morbidly obese. That was very difficult to write also. I don't know if I've gained weight since I last saw the doctor or not. I will just assume that I have not and assume that my weight is what is stated above. I'm sorry, I couldn't write it again.
My knee is hurt at the moment. I used to trip and step in holes and end up falling all the time. I still do, but much less often now because I'm more careful and I actually watch were I walk. I always landed on my knees when I fell and I hit the hardest on my right knee. So that, with the added weight, has caused me to have knee problems. They are not normally severe problems. They have been for the last few weeks. I don't know what I did. I went to bed one night just fine and when I got up the next morning, my right knee was in great pain. When I was at my sister's a few days ago, she let me try her TENS unit on it. If you are not familiar with a TENS unit, let me tell you that it's a little device that you use to attach electrodes to the affected area and it give you little electric pulses to stimulate the area. It can lessen pain and the need for pain medication. It helped me so much more than I would have expected. I'll be talking to my doctor about getting one the next time I'm there. I may even be able to start exercise if I have one.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Not Yet
My friend Catherine and I are both in need of weight loss. I'm starting this blog as a tool to help. I will be the primary poster on the blog, but Catherine will be welcome to post too, if she would like to. I hope she will, from time to time.
As for me, I am 50 years old. A mother, grandmother and a wife. I've been married for almost 33 years. I've been overweight almost that whole time. I started to gain weight when we moved to Mississippi after we first got married. I was lonely and filled my loneliness with food. A while later, I realized that I ate when I was sad, upset, angry -- you name it. Basically, I eat my feelings. I've eaten so many feelings, in fact, that I have a whopping other person in weight to lose.
I have not yet started to lose weight. On Monday, I plan to start watching what I eat and cutting high fructose corn syrup from my diet. I also plan to post almost daily to share my progress.
As for me, I am 50 years old. A mother, grandmother and a wife. I've been married for almost 33 years. I've been overweight almost that whole time. I started to gain weight when we moved to Mississippi after we first got married. I was lonely and filled my loneliness with food. A while later, I realized that I ate when I was sad, upset, angry -- you name it. Basically, I eat my feelings. I've eaten so many feelings, in fact, that I have a whopping other person in weight to lose.
I have not yet started to lose weight. On Monday, I plan to start watching what I eat and cutting high fructose corn syrup from my diet. I also plan to post almost daily to share my progress.
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